Ogden Marathon Recap

I’ll be real honest with you.
I really don’t want to write about the race.
I really don’t want to recap what happened.
Because I don’t know what happened, or why I finished the way I did.
I’ve avoided writing this all week.
And I guess if I don’t do it now… I never will.
So here goes…
We took off Friday after work
Look at all of Poshie’s luggage!
1 huge suitcase.
1 back pack.
and supplies for PB & J’s.
no worries,
we were just going for the weekend.
we are a family of over-packers.
We got to the expo, picked up our packets and headed out to dinner at Texas Roadhouse.
I ate my weight in rolls and cinnamon butter!
Seriously, I could live off those things.
We got back to the hotel and got our OCD on…
I always have to set out EVERYTHING the night before.
Check my Garmin, iPod, etc.
I have NO idea where I get my OCD from…
NO idea. nope. ๐Ÿ˜‰
I went to bed… nervous and excited.
hopeful.
I read every one’s comments on my last postย for some motivation.
Your support never ceases to amaze me.
Tyson even posted on the Elevated CrossFit site about me and my training!
I slept fairly well…
woke up, got dressed, got ready.
I was still nervous.
REALLY nervous.
Then I saw Diz…
(p.s. we didn’t stay in the same room, boys in one room, girls in the other. we’re weird like that)
“Scores Often”
BAHAHAHA
anyways…
we headed down to the hotel lobby,
met up with Paul and Joanna, and Amylee, too! ๐Ÿ™‚
I said goodbye to Diz and we headed to the buses.
I felt really nauseated once we got on the bus.
I was just SO nervous.
I was so afraid of failure.
I was hoping I could get my sub4.
We were hanging out at one of the campfires and JEN taps me on my shoulder!
AHH! I was so happy I got to see her.
She’s been battling injuries and still came out and rocked this race.
read her race recap here.
We had already agreed that we were gonna hang back at the start line and let everyone go.
I told my Mom to go, I wanted another minute or two to collect my thoughts.
I took off about 9 minutes after the gun.
I crossed the start line and started my Garmin.
I watched it pretty closely for the first few miles to make sure I didn’t take off too fast.
I felt like I was on track.
BUT something just didn’t feel right.
I knew something was wrong by mile 10.
It felt like I had a huge rubberband around my chest.
like it was constricting my chest and I couldn’t get a deep breath in. EVER.
I also had some pain in my upper abs/tummy.
Not like I was gonna vomit or shit myself, ย but like my abs (or maybe my diaphragm??) were cramping.
I thought it might have been the nuun I was drinking, maybe the carbonation was upsetting my stomach.
So I switched to just water.
but it didn’t help.
I’ve never felt so frustrated and lost during a race.
I could literally feel the race slipping away from me.
I cried.
I would run and then lose my breath and have to walk.
I cried.
I contemplated quitting at the half way mark.
But I knew I COULD finish, it just wasn’t gonna be the finish I wanted.
and I cried.
I made a friend after the hill, her name was Katie.
we leap-frogged for awhile. and finally started running together.
I had to let her go at mile 18 (i think)… I just couldn’t breathe.
it was awful.
at mile 20 I could feel tingling in my calves.
and I knew I was getting ready to start cramping.
so I started drinking more nuun.
and it did help… the tingling never went away, but it never got worse.
As time dragged on, I knew my family was crossing the finish line and expecting me right behind them.
I knew they’d be worried.
and that made me cry even more.
I wanted to tell someone to find them for me and tell them I was coming, slowly but surely.
It seemed like forever, but I finally got off the trail and on to the straightaway to the finish.
It seemed SO far away. I just wanted to sit down and cry.
But I kept going.
running. walking. running. walking.
and then I saw Diz.
and I burst into tears.
I sobbed into his shirt.
“I don’t know what’s happening to me. This is SO hard!”
He told me he had been so worried. I felt awful!
but Diz got me to the finish…
and I could hear spectators yelling my name.
this is not a great picture of me…
I was so happy people were cheering for me.
I was so thankful to be nearing the finish line…
and apparently had something left in the tank to pass a few people on the way to the finish line.
I finished in 4:56.
Though my garmin measured the course at 26.4 miles.
I remember looking down at my Garmin and seeing 4:54 at 26.2…
so I’ve been telling everyone 4:54.
it makes me feel a little better.
As soon as I crossed I saw my Mom & brother.
They waited for an hour at the finish line.
They even checked the medical tent.
I cried when I saw my Mom.
I just sat down right in the middle of the road.
and I just sobbed.
I was (and still am) so disappointed with my performance.
a few minutes later, Jen tapped me on the shoulder again!
She had finished the race! She is such a rockstar!
Lindsay (my sweet friend who made the plaque for me)
came to the finish line and caught my Mom and brother coming in!
My Mom did SO amazing!
she got her sub 4 AND Boston Qualified!
3:54!
Poshie had trouble with cramping again,
but still finished strong in 4:06!
He’s considering running Utah Valley in 2 weeks.
I think he’s crazy… but… I did the same thing last year.
the whole FAMILY!
Diz finished the half in 2:10!
he had some cramping in his calves, BOO!
In all honesty,
I have no idea what happened during the race.
I’ve talked about with my Mom, with Tyson, with other runner friends.
I don’t know if making the switch to CrossFit Endurance 6 weeks prior to the race was the problem.
For all I know, I could have followed the Hal Higdon plan and still tanked this race.
My Mom and I discussed the importance of the long runs… and if I just didn’t get enough mileage in.
Tyson and I chatted about making the switch to CFE, possibly too late in the game, and if the months prior when I was running higher mileage and CrossFitting 4-5 times a week, if my body was just too run down and still recovering.
I can continue to talk about and discuss it, but it doesn’t change the outcome of the race.
and YES I know I FINISHED a marathon.
I’ve run 7 marathons.
Yes, I’m proud of myself.
Yes, I know that’s an accomplishment in itself.
BUT… I busted my ass on the track and in Elevated CrossFitย 
and I know I’m capable of running a sub 4:00 marathon.
and the fact that I didn’t get it, like, not even kinda close,
just BURNS me.
I know I’ll run another marathon… some day.
but not anytime soon.
Again, I appreciate every one’s support and encouragement.
It really has meant the world to me.
Thank you so much!
I loved every comment, FB post, tweet, and text. ๐Ÿ™‚
I know this seems like a downer – waahwaah post…
I really am feeling better about the race and I feel like I’m ready to put it behind me.
I’ll be back later with happier posts…
I promise!
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25 thoughts on “Ogden Marathon Recap

  1. Lynsey says:

    Congrats on finishing the race. That’s more than a lot of us can say. And 7 girl, you are AMAZING! Just like you said, you will get your sub 4 someday. Sorry you aren’t happy with the results but don’t over analyze, just move on. Head up!

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  2. Ann says:

    Just like we’ve talked about… it’s okay to feel angry, it’s okay to feel upset and frustrated. But at the end of the day, you finished your 7th marathon – which is SO MUCH MORE than MANY people can claim. So proud of you for finishing, regardless of the results. There WILL be more races. You’ve had the Marathon Kool-Aid, and you’re hooked. Love you lots. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  3. Rochelle says:

    I’m in tears….if I had ran the Ogden marathon… with all my crappy training and broken toe – my recap would have been something like this except I wouldn’t have finished…you are strong!! You are amazing! You are an inspiration. I am so proud of you and so heartbroken for you in not getting your goal…but you are young and now go make a baby and come back and run Ogden in 2014 and kick some trash…HAHA I’m funny! But you are awesome, don’t ever for get that…and pretty badass for all your crossfit-ness – it just wasn’t your race to be a runner…it was your race to show how strong you are!!

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  4. Rochelle says:

    And I am sooo sad – cause I switched phones and lost your number cause I was thinking of you and wanted to text you good luck, congrats, and when are we running again! I am here to make you feel good about yourself and your running! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  5. Kira says:

    Way to see the silver lining girl! Who cares about time? Just get more mileage in for the next time. Look at all those pictures. You have family that freakin loves you, dogs that are cutter then Ill get out… and your outfit? Pretty much amazing. and thats what really matters! You’re strong!

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  6. Amylee says:

    I’ve been thinking about you all week. When you didn’t post right away, I knew it was because you were disappointed. You know what? You have every right to be! TRAINING for a marathon is a lot of work, and to not see the dividends that you hoped for is disappointing. I’m so proud of you for sticking it out- it would have been easy to stop at the half and call someone, but you did it. You are so strong, Ash- in so many ways. I’m so disappointed that I didn’t get to see you at the finish. Dang. So excited for your Mom! She is amazing. I want to be like her when I grow up.

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  7. Unknown says:

    Dude…you ran. You ran far. It’s okay to feel angry, but honestly…you finished and there are more races in your future that will be better! ๐Ÿ™‚

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  8. Heather @ Running with Heather says:

    Congrats on finishing. Your race recap is similar to my last recap where I wanted to quit halfway through but stuck with it. It says a lot that you pushed through the pain and finished. Great job! Hopefully, this was a one time occurrence so that you can get your sub 4 time at the next race.

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  9. Ericka Andersen says:

    Wow. Well, I can understand how hard it was to write that post…and how hard it was to get through that race. The reality is, sometimes we have “off” days. Unfortunately, those are not selectively designated for the days we are not running marathons. It’s not your fault! And you will be up for another before you know. I can understand why not right now though. I felt similarly for the 2010 Chicago Marathon when I bombed majorly. I’m nervous the same thign will happen this year. But..just gotta give it your all and hope for the best. Congratulations on completing another marathon! –Ericka @ The Sweet Life (sweetlifeericka.com)

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  10. Rachelle Wardle says:

    I am glad you decided to write about it Ash. Sometimes it just feels good to write it all out and truly get it off your chest. I think it is okay to be sad and dissapointed. I know I was after my performance at Ogden & St. George and it was hard but I learned so much from all of my mistakes and was able to train smarter for my next races. You will learn from this and you will come back stronger than ever. I really admire your strength.It would have been easy for you to call it quits…but you carried on despite the pain and finished the race. That says a lot about your character.

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  11. Stefanie D. says:

    Dear. Lord. I think we ran the same race this last weekend. I had the exact same problem during the race. I felt like I couldn’t breath. I kept on thinking about not finishing. Crying. A LOT. I knew that I was capable of SO much more. I trained. I put in the miles, but it just didn’t happen for me. It really blows that a race can come down to something that seems so small. But you are STILL A ROCKSTAR!! You finished that bitch and got your medal! Congratulations on a other marathon finish!

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  12. Monica says:

    I cried all through reading your post. Maybe it has something to do with just having a baby, but really I think it is because I have felt all of those emotions and experiences before. My fastest and slowest marathon times are over an hour apart, I’ve had great races and not so great. The bad races are still a huge accomplishment, but I understand, they just don’t feel good. I won’t saddle you with unsolicited advice, but if you are ever interested, let me know, I have some suggestions and ideas of what happened. Whatever happened in the race, you are still seriously badass!

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  13. Cory Reese says:

    Ugh. I’m sorry the race sucked.I could relate with EVERYTHING in this review. At the Buffalo Run in March I had that exact same stomach issue – just kind of like an elephant was standing on my chest. I also don’t know what it was or what caused it. And I’ve chased that elusive sub-4 so many times, and despite my best training still couldn’t catch it so I just switched to ultras where you’re supposed to run slower.Here’s my $.02: despite not getting the time you wanted, you DID train hard. You DID do the best you could during the race. You DID RUN A MARATHON. In the end, you did the very best you could, and that matters much more than how long it takes you to get to the finish line. Well done!

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  14. TheShippenFamily says:

    So glad you posted, I have been checking your blog all week. Thats so frustrating to have bad races and not pin point exactly why!Your awesome, and you will get your sub4. And you are rocking the Crossfit.Have a great Memorial Day weekend!

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  15. Jason says:

    Congrats on finishing! It is disappointing when you don’t hit your goal time, but at least you finished. I don’t think you gave CFE a full honest shot. I think you said you started 6 wks out. I have been very curious about trying CF/CFE as a stand-a-lone marathon training program, but I have been reluctant. I’ve only done 1 full and followed a Hal Higdon program, I bombed and missed my goal time by 15 min’s. I much prefer strength training so I enjoy CF, I just don’t know if I trust it to get me thru 26.2

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  16. Muncher Cruncher says:

    Ash I am so glad that you wrote about this! I hope you know that you are absolutely amazing, and SUCH a freaking rock star. I’m so proud of you for pushing through and finishing. It just shows how TOUGH you are! It’s time for us to meet up at the PF! xoxoxo

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  17. Jen says:

    Ash, I know just how you feel. It’s so much work training for a marathon, especially when you’re trying to PR. And it just sucks that race day didn’t go as planned. I always find that there must be something I need to learn from these experiences and that it will benefit me in my life some day. I hope you find out what that is for you. And I hope you know what a strong person you are inside and out! I loved seeing you there. It was a highlight for me!

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  18. Pingback: Live wElle Recap

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